Just being frank

Was channel surfing and managed to catch ABC's Foreign Correspondence. An "uncensored" look at the current Prime Minister of Fiji, Commodore Frank Bainimarama. Interesting.

(You can watch the video if you missed it, or read the full transcript. Spoiler: If you are expecting some good old ranting and raving, you will be disappointed.)

Now i've seen other such programmes where Frank has come across as arrogant, forceful and defiant which in turn has led to foreign media branding him a dictator, a firebrand and a delusional madman (don't quote me on that last one... i just like the ring of it). But this was different. He was calm, almost charming. Great work Phillipa Macdonald on fostering that mood.

The situation in Fiji is a complicated one and Frank is trying to change attitudes or in his own words:

"Well the reforms are in the way we think. We’ve been led down one particular path in the last 40, 50 years. We need to come away from that. Our constitution has not been good, has not been kind to us. Our constitution... and on that note our electoral reform, our electoral system, has not been kind to us, has been very racist."

Ok so he wants to eradicate racism. Not just politics but from people's minds. Wow, just WOW! If he pulls this off, he will get the Nobel Peace Prize every year for the next 25 years.

Reality check. While Frank chases a utopian future, the country is falling apart. By his own admission, these "racist" attitudes have been around for 40-50 years. To change that in eight years by using the military as a blunt instrument is not idealistic. It. is. insane.


Frank Bainimarama may have a plan, but his execution is flawed. Censoring the media, telling people how to think and controlling information about the regime may help him silence those who he percieves as working against the betterment of Fiji, but it also sends a message to the world. The message is that Frank doesn't want a conversation. A conversation requires more than one voice. More than one side of the story. If the people don't speak, how can they express their needs?

- The Psynic

Android on my mind

My workmate @generalben just picked up the new Samsung Galaxy S i9000 on $49 plan from Optus.

It looks amazing and the Layar app completely and utterly blew my mind. I haven't had a case of mobile phone envy this bad since, well, ever.

Not even the iPhone caused this much longing in my wallet. I want to go straight to the nearest Optus store and upgrade my, now seemingly prehistoric Nokia E71 regardless of what soul taking clause they throw at me.

Only thing holding me back is this article on Paul Thurott's Supersite for Windows about Windows Phone 7 (or Windows Phone). Very interesting to say the least and Windows Live ID functionality around social networking looks killer. Here's a snippet from his article:

"Windows Phone may or may not look interesting to you right now. But if you have a properly configured Windows Live ID--one that is connected with various third party services like Facebook, MySpace, Flickr, whatever--and get a Windows Phone, you're in for a treat.

All you do is logon with that Windows Live ID and then watch as the phone populates with an astonishing amount of content. It's an experience you just can't get on the iPhone or Android, and it's the first of many things about Windows Phone that has made me just start grinning spontaneously. And in another "trust me on this" moment, I should now mention that I'm not exactly a giddy person by nature."

So now it's the waiting game. The Galaxy S is available and affordable right now while Windows Phone won't be available for a while yet. Do i go forth, drunk with nerdy enthusiasm and get the Galaxy S or hold out for a bigger (better?) experience?

"Meditate on this, I will." - Yoda

Couldn't have said it better myself.

The Psynic

I'm back...Redux

Wow, long time between drinks and all that. I know.

Well, since my last post, Twitter has taken off and some thing called Facebook has sucked every spare minute out of my life.

Social media aside, i now have progeny. Yes, The Pysnic is not cynical enough to not procreate. I mean someone needs to continue my bloodline, murky as that may be.

(I was so tempted to put a wink emoticon after that line... oh god help me, facebook is ruining my life).

Well, a lot has transpired and time is at a premium so i'll make this quick.

I'm on twitter and if you, dear reader would like to follow my short, sporadic musings, follow me there.

I'll save thoughts longer than 140 characters for this medium, which i must admit, is refereshing to be back on.

Until next time, stay cynical.

The Psynic

Thoughts on the last Harry Potter novel

Ok so J.K Rowling says this is the last of Harry Potter.

Here's a spoiler, he finally gets over puberty, discovers sex, drugs and an accordian and lives happily until a drug overdose, syphillis and bleeding ears from accordian abuse.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like the Harry Potter books or movies. I think they are great. Nothing wrong with the occult. Drinking pig's blood and boiling crap in large cauldrons actually sounds like fun.

But what sh*ts me is the hype and hoopla whenever a new book is set to be released. If I see or hear one more news reporter refer to people as "muggles", I think my brain will explode.

Hey Mr. reporter-man / woman / thing, "muggles" is the term for non-magic folk in the Harry Potter books period. By taking it out of context and referring to people lining up to buy the books or see the movies as "muggles" you are implying that you are a witch/wizard and we all live within the context of books. If that was the case, I would be building a huge-ass fire for your trial right now.

I'm sure your editor enjoys your witty and pun filled report on the new Harry Potter book / movie and will continue to pay you a bundle so you can keep purchasing that magic powder that helps blur the line between what's real and what's not. But I'm sick of it and I'm glad it's over... or is it?

Rowling says there might be more books later on, based on Hogwarts and other characters. What she didn't say was, there will be other books if she feels she needs another Bentley / Rolls Royce, another huge 300 bedroom mansion the size of Hogwarts or an island that she can turn into an occultist paradise replete with witches, wizards and Channel 9 reporters.

No muggles allowed.

>The Psynic<

PS: Here's a case in point.

On the menu today...

Thinking about a nice relaxing surf at Manly beach?

Think again.


>The Psynic<

Just stand and breathe

1996, the year Prodigy's "Breathe" was the hottest dance track around. Why am I remembering that song? Well it all began this morning on the train to work...

I'll set the scene...

It's a dark and cold winter's morning. The sky carries the threat of more thunderstorms and rain as I huddle under the train shelter waiting for my daily direct train to the city. It arrives late, as usual.

There is a mad rush as everyone tries to get on at the same time. It's a non-stop train and all the passengers seem to have recently developed arthritis of the knee, such is their reluctance to stand. Chivalry died a quick death here, a long time ago.

An old man is beating a pregnant woman for a seat while a child is thrown out of a window to make room for a man in a suit. Two students have their switchblades out to fend off any interest in their seats.

OK, you got me. The last paragraph is pure fiction... but how long before it becomes fact? I gave up my seat to a woman on the train a couple of weeks ago and instead of thanking me, she gave me a "are-you-freaking-crazy?" look. FFS, am i supposed to feel bad about having some manners and being considerate?

Anyway, back to the story. I manage to find a seat next to a PDA wielding business type. Thanking the heavens for my good fortune, I put on my headphones for the hour-long ride to work. All is right with the world (except for the train running late)... or is it?

What is that f**king smell??

It smells like a wet, rotting corpse microwaved on High for 3 minutes. It's unbearable!

They say a bad smell usually accompanies a bad spirit but this stench would mean Beelzebub himself was out and about.

And then it hit me. The PDA wielding business type next to me was breathing on me. How can someone's breath smell so damn bad so early in the morning? I mean you get up and brush right? Maybe not.

A few thoughts, which I am tempted to say out loud, run through my head:
"WTF? You can afford a PDA but not a brush?"
"Dude, what was for breakfast...sh*t?"
"Here's some mint... you should see a vet about that dead dog stuck in your throat."

But I choked back my desire to say something. I could not bear the thought of him actually facing me and saying something in response.

So I endured what would be my worst train trip in 6 years. A crowded train, no open windows and me sitting next to someone afflicted with the worst case of halitosis ever smelt. It's official, fresh breath mint advertising has failed.

I hope tomorrow's train is crowded. I don't want a seat. I'd rather stand... and breathe.

The Psynic

I'm back

Forgive me blogger for i have slacked... it has been almost a year since my last entry.

So much has happened since the last entry, the Aussies were cruelly dumped from the World Cup by eventual winners Italy and we are mere months away from the Rugby World Cup in France. The Wallabies will mount another challenge to reach the finals... and beat the mighty All Blacks come semi final time. We'll see.

I have a nagging suspicion that the All Blacks may just win this year given they last won in 1987 and beat France. History has a habit of repeating - 2007, France, World Cup, you get the drift.

Ok, now that i have gotten sports out of my system...oh hang on, Manchester United won back the Premier League title, that made my year...


How sweet it is.

Back to me, got a new job and can now safely say that working in a State Government department was interesting...oh what the hell, it sucked! After 10 months of being brow beaten I was glad to get the f**k out. Thanks for the memories, even if they weren't so great.

But it was not all bad, i met some great people and one really funny bastard who introduced me to his other friend, also a really funny bastard (wow, thats the most number of "bastards" i've ever used in this blog). You can check out this really funny dude's blog but be warned, if you have a single politically correct bone your body, you will be offended.

Well, i'm loving the new job as much as i hated the old one so all is right in the world... think it has a lot to do with Manchester Utd winning the Premier League.

But the main thing is that i'm back and this time i aim to make weekly updates instead of yearly ones.

>The Psynic<

On the cusp of greatness ... and other World Cup based thoughts

Wow, what a week!

Juggling a new job, the World Cup and other commitments is making my head spin. But hey, its once every four years right (the World Cup, not the job). So grin and bear it. At least the vcr is getting a good workout and I'm managing to squeeze in as much soccer as possible in between normal TV programming.

So what has happened since the last post? A lot but I'll start with the team that are second on my list of teams to win the tournament, Argentina (England being my first choice - more on them later). They won big on the weekend, hammering Serbia and Montenegro six goals to nil. The Europeans were a weakened and demoralised side to begin with, what with injuries to key defenders (Nemanja Vidic) and a first up loss to a less than brilliant Netherlands.

But it wasn't the number of goals Argentina scored but how they scored them. Every goal was a work of art that makes football the beautiful game. It also showed the type of teamwork and unity that Brazil lacked in their less than convincing win over Croatia. All the goals were scored from inside the box and the defence was taken apart in clinical fashion each time. There was only one piece of individuality, courtesy of Carlos Tevez late in the game.

Argentina have demonstrated that they have a mix of both teamwork and individual skills to open teams up and so go to the top of my World Cup favourites. England laboured to a 2-0 win over Trinidad and Tobago who looked more than likely to steal a point off their more fancied opponents. Captain Fantastic at Liverpool, Steven Gerrard got the late second goal while Peter "he's got a good first touch for such a tall lad" Crouch got the opener.

It was good to see Rooney get a run and his introduction along with Aaron Lennon gave England a sense of urgency which was missing in the game against Paraguay and for most of the T&T match. Sweden finally got going with a drab 1-0 win over Paraguay but the talking point is that Trinidad and Tobago can still make the second round if Sweden lose or draw with England.

Another debutant that still has a chance is Ghana, who I was very impressed with in their win against the second ranked team in the world, the Czech Republic. The first upset of the tournament was a thumpingly good match with Ghana taking the lead within the first minute then dominating the match until the second goal which was ripper from Sulley Muntari, who up to that point, I only knew from playing Pro Evolution Soccer 5 on my PS2. I'm happy to report that the real version is as good if not better than the pixelated version.

The Czech Republic were plain outplayed and didn't look passionate enough to get a result. Apparently they have a problem with their strikers being injured, which may affect their progress later on. Meanwhile the USA and Italy cancelled each other out in a 1-1 stalemate which looked more like a bad day in Baghdad than a soccer match. Claret everywhere, the liquid and plastic variety. That leaves Group E wide open and I hope Ghana can beat the USA in the next game to go through.

Bring it on

And so finally the game tonight, which I won't be staying up for, Australia v Brazil. It's time to make a mark on the world stage and lets hope Guus has a brilliant gameplan on hand to stop the Samba Kings, who like Argentina, are due a big match. I'm sure the Brazil team will want to put an exclamation point with the victory and it's important the Aussies hang on. This myth that Brazil have defensive problems, must be ignored. Teams with defensive problems don't win five World Cups.

I'm hoping for an Aussie win, not only because that will guarantee our passage into the second but also guarantee that football will be the most watched sport in Australia (I guess the Wallaby's farcical rugby union win over England has jaded me a little).

Whatever happens (hope for a win, pray for a draw), the Socceroos and soccer ...football, will be the winner on the day. I'll be back with a wrap after the coming weeks games.

Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!
Oi! Oi! Oi!

- The Psynic

Australia create history at World Cup...but is it enough?

Maybe its a lack of sleep because the wave of euphoria sweeping the nation is contagious and all I want to write about is how great the Aussies were and how we can reach the finals... but I won't.

Fighting off such euphoria is a little easier when one is as psynical as I am. If you want to read a glowing account of how Australia beat Japan 3 - 1 go here. You'll also find a good serving of over-the-top optimism and enthusiasm, which I wouldn't have a problem with unless it came sprinkled with copious amounts of unrealistic pride.

The match, spectacular as it was, exposed Australia's frailties up front where Viduka had a few good touches but hardly made an impact. Kewell looked tired and uninspired and there was a general lack of creativity. The fact that it took 84 minutes to get a goal should worry the coaching staff because the other teams in the group (Brazil and Croatia) will
a) score more goals within that timeframe or
b) defend better to hold on to their lead.

Australia will have to play tighter against Brazil because they will not waste the half chances we presented to the Japanese on one too many occasions. With the amount of creative talent in the Brazilian team, they probably wouldn't need half chances as they can create something from nothing. The objective will be to get a draw (an optimistic best case scenario) or keep the goals against stat down, so we can go hell for leather in the final game against the Croatians.

Japan were good at times but this defeat signals their exit. It would take a miracle for them to win against either Brazil or Croatia but then it is a World Cup and anything can happen. The ref played a part as well but was consistent in not giving the Japanese a (justifiable) penalty later on. Japan can only hope for a mix of luck and courage, maybe a sympathetic referee and a couple of bizarre own goals by the defenders of the teams they play against. I reckon its karma for all the whale hunting.

All of Australia will watch the Brazil v Croatia game with piqued interest. Can the Socceroos continue to make history at Germany? Can we get our attack into top gear to cause either of these teams any problems? With the round of 16 beckoning, one more win will send us through. Suddenly a team no one wanted to know, has the entire nation behind it. The naysayers are there too, waiting for the fall so they can go back to endlessly discussing rugby, AFL, cricket, whatever, without the distraction of a truly international sport.

As a soccer fan, I hope for a win but as a realist I know I should enjoy this while it lasts. Brazil will be tough, correction, nigh on unbeatable and Croatia aren't going down without a fight. The fact is, the toughest games are yet to come. The question in my mind isn't whether we can make the second round but rather will aussies sustain their love for soccer after all is said and done?

Man of the Match

Special mention and hats off to Tim Cahill. I couldn't understand why he started off the bench when Kewell looked tired from the opening whistle but Guus Hiddink has his reasons and the end justified the means.

I have been harping on about the importance of Cahill to anyone who would listen (and their dog) and feel justified that he came through. He brings enthusiasm and killer instinct to the team and becoming a part of Australian history is well deserved. Wonder if the people of Samoa know that they have a new sports icon to idolize. Check out an article on the meteoric rise of Tim Cahill.

History is made
(Photo courtesy BBC.co.uk)Tim Cahill's equaliser was Australia's first ever World Cup goal. Cahill is the fourth player next to Miroslav Klose (Germany), Omar Bravo (Mexico) and Paulo Wanchope (Costa Rica) to score twice at the 2006 World Cup.

Australia is the first team at this tournament, to come back after being 1-0 down, and Cahill (twice) and John Aloisi became the second and third substitute to score at the 2006 World Cup. No other team has scored three goals in the last seven minutes in World Cup history.

Japan, who put out their oldest ever starting line-up at a World Cup, are yet to win their opening match of the tournament. In 1998 they were beaten (1-0) by Argentina. Four years later they were held to a 2-2 draw by Belgium.
(source: BBC Sports website)

- The Psynic

No fairy tales as World Cup rolls on

It's good to see the Netherlands back in the World Cup and they didn't disappoint against Serbia & Montenegro. They scored a great goal through Arjen Robben (who I can't seem to like, not only because he plays for Chelsea in the English Premier league or because he joined Chelsea after rejecting a move to Man Utd) and gave the Montenegran defence a lot to think about. Given that Serbia &Montenegro were undefeated in qualifying with only one goal scored against them, the Dutch look the goods to qualify from group C.

I was disappointed by the lack of attacking power from the Balkan team. Mateja Kezman looked out of sorts and the introduction of Zigic didn't help either. With Argentina winning their match against the Ivory Coast (2-1), who played well overall, Serbia & Montenegro look like being the first casualty in the "group of death".

I say this because the Ivory Coast team have firepower up front and I envisage them scoring more goals. The only difference between them and Argentina was Juan Riquelme, who orchestrated both goals and is the key to their third trip to the podium. Argentina is one of my favourites to win it this year and their clinical display only reinforces that theory even though the Argentinean press gave their performance a lukewarm reception.

In other matches, Angola went down to Portugal through an early goal by Pauleta. Luis Figo, thought by some to be too old and past his best, turned on a burst of speed to surprise the still settling Angolan defence, centred the ball in the box and Pauleta comfortably collected his first goal of the World Cup. Honorable mentions for Cristiano Ronaldo who saw a header come back off the cross bar and a powerful shot blocked by goalkeeper Joao Ricardo. The fairy tale would have seen Angola, under Portuguese rule until 1975, beat their colonial masters but alas for yours truly, there won't be a discussion on the merits of football as a statement of empowerment for the post-colonial state...yet.

The Africans did finish strongly with the Benefica based Mantorras causing the Portuguese defence a few problems. Portugal looked comfortable enough but will need to attack more if they are to beat Mexico, who beat Iran 3 - 1 in the other group D match.

Mexico with 67 goals in 18 qualifying matches, displayed their prowess in the air and on the ground with some well won headers and scintillating dribbling, which invariably led to three goals. Iran did fight back and got a goal back early but could not combat the spirited Mexican attack.

To end, the upcoming group F match between Japan and Australia will ensure half the population will arrive at work with bleary eyes tomorrow. After 32 years, here is the first step towards either a spectacular start or an ignominious exit. Maybe I'm exaggerating the importance of this game but the fact is that nothing more than a victory will do. A draw might suffice but then Brazil and more so Croatia will look forward to playing an Australian team down on confidence.

Japan are no easy beats either, drawing 2 - 2 against hosts Germany in a friendly prior to the World Cup. They are technically gifted, fast and have an element of unpredictability which can cause problems for the best of teams. To ensure a fighting chance Australia must get the three points on offer. To add to the pressure, Australia have never won a game at the World Cup or scored a goal. The last campaign, in 1974, returned two losses and a goal-less draw.

Well, its around four hours to kick off. Lets hope my next entry has some good news.

The Psynic

The World Cup is here

Well, after a four-month hiatus, I'm back. Who thought trying to find a job you actually like would take so damn long. For once, my stubborn streak did me some good.

There are many movies and cds I have sampled over the past four months and I'll hopefully have the reviews up once I settle into the new job. In the meantime, the World Cup has kicked off in Germany and it will be a month of very little sleep. Australia made the tournament after a 32-year absence and so the country has gone football (or soccer) mad.

Most of the madness is because of the "bandwagon" factor. Media in Australia, entrenched in rugby union, rugby league or AFL (Aussie Rules Football) for so long have finally discovered that the game played by Sheilas, Wogs and Poofters is ratings gold, be it print, radio or television. There is a saturation of World Cup and Socceroos advertising, which I find a little hypocritical given the limited coverage the national soccer team and soccer in general received prior to qualification.

The only exception have been SBS, who through people like the late Johnny Warren, Les Murray and a dedicated team of soccer enthusiasts, have gone against the grain to bring the "world game" to Australian homes. Even though they might have been outbid to broadcast soccer on their free to air tv channel (English Premier league games, highlights etc), SBS continue to bring the World Cup to the non-cable subscribing public. Kudos (and ratings) to SBS for giving all lovers of soccer something to look forward to.

Let the games begin
I'll get off my soapbox now, only because the matches I've seen so far demand comment. The host nation and three-time winner Germany looked shaky against minnows Costa Rica and were lucky to get a 4 - 2 victory in the opening match. But I am not writing off their chances because they are always in the mix regardless of form. The 2002 tourney pays testament to their resilience, making the finals even though they had been written off prior to and during the competition. With a good blend of youth and experience in the team and the parochial home crowd acting as a 12th man, expect Germany to go far.

The other heavyweight, England, looked good in the first 30 minutes of their match against unorthodox South Americans Paraguay. Racing to an early 1 - 0 lead thanks to captain David Beckham's free kick, which deflected off defender Carlos Gamarra, the english dominated proceedings with their much vaunted midfield quartet of Beckham, Lampard, Cole and Gerrard. The odd couple pairing of Peter Crouch (6' 7'') and Michael Owen (5' 8'') looked good initially with a couple of good knock downs from Crouch giving the nippy Owen fodder for his speedy runs.

However, after 30 minutes the weight of expectation seemed to drag the English down. The one-dimensional tactic of the high ball knock down was well covered by the Paraguayans and the midfield battles started to turn into a war of attrition. Full credit to the Paraguayans for making England work for every opportunity.

In my opinion, England lacked attacking options on the flanks. There was an injection of speed and running with the introduction of Stewart Downing but with Owen substituted and Crouch as the lone striker, even the talented threesome of Becks, Lamps and Stevie G seemed bereft of anything creative.

True, there were numerous shots on goal but only a couple forced saves. To beat Sweden and Trinidad and Tobago, England will need to create sustained attacking pressure or to use a sports cliche "keep the foot on the pedal".

With Manchester United star Wayne Rooney on the bench, they might have the ace to change their game. If and when Rooney starts remains to be seen. For viewing sake, lets hope that its soon. I still feel that England can do well at this World Cup, but I will reserve judgement on them actually winning it on the appearance and impact of Rooney.

In the other game, Trinidad and Tobago showed the world that they were not making up numbers by getting a 0 - 0 draw against the much fancied and talented Sweden side. At times the Soca Warriors looked better than a team ranked 51 in the world so much so that one might be mistaken in switching the numbers around, which would ironically be Sweden's ranking (15).

Dwight Yorke, so long a prolific striker, turned in a man of the match performance as a defensive midfielder, inspiring his team mates to what is surely the first upset of the tournament. The other debutants (Angola, Togo, Ivory Coast and Ghana) can take heart from this result and hopefully create a few upsets of their own. At the time of writing, Ivory Coast had gone down to two-time World Cup winner and one of the favourites, Argentina two goals to one.

Well thats my wrap for now. Will be back with more thoughts after watching more games. Hope you enjoy the World Cup of the beautiful game wherever you are. Drop me a comment if you have an opinion.

For all things World Cup, click this.

The Psynic

CD Review: INXS - Switch

CD Review: INXS – Switch

I was an INXS tragic from the time they released “The Swing”. I remember listening to it over and over until the cassette tape (original, mind you) started to squeak and squeal on certain tracks because of overuse. From “Melting in the Sun” to “Original Sin” this was ground breaking rock. The hooks, the riffs and especially the skewed delivery of the vocals which only Michael Hutchence could do so well. Those were the good old days, that is, until I could afford to buy “Kick” on vinyl.

“Kick” upped the ante and remains to this day, my all time favourite INXS album. By the time “X” was released, cd players were the rage and hearing those crystal clear vocals, tingly guitars and gut-wrenching saxophone was memorable. “Live Baby Live” was good on the large speakers with surround but sadly that was when the now famous decline started.

“Welcome to Wherever You Are” was a new direction and also the first time I felt that there were fillers in the album. I was less enthusiastic about later releases and only picked them up at bargain basement deals. Then Hutchence died.

My point? Well, the last sentence sums it up for me. Hutchence died and with him INXS. So why am I reviewing “Switch”? Because I’m moving on and getting over the fact that Hutchence died.

So is this album any good? In bits and pieces and not at all if you still wish Hutchence were alive. The trademark INXS hooks are there, guitar hooks and saxophone solos (Devil’s Party) and even some U2 type moments (Afterglow).

There is no denying that new lead vocalist J.D. Fortune has the range and ability. He is pretty convincing on “Hot Girls”, “Perfect Strangers” and of course “Pretty Vegas”. But tracks such as “Remember, Who’s Your Man” sound drab and lifeless. As much as I want to like this reincarnation of INXS, there is not enough soul in it to make me declare that INXS “are back!”

Switch does have the ability to grow on you after a couple of listens though, and has enough variety to appeal to a wide range of new and old fans. The aptly titled “Like It or Not” will polarize fans in the sense that it sounds like a tribute to the INXS of old. All the hooks are there, vocal harmonies, saxophone solos and a dance / rock ethic that keeps the track upbeat and interesting. Since I’m moving on, I’ll vote in the positive and give it a thumbs up.

My verdict, if I were to ditch my cynicism and ignore the whole INXS Rock Star reality show publicity stunt and the obvious cash grab by a band obviously in their twilight (have a look at the pic, Kirk Pengilly looks downright creepy), would be that this is a catchy and at times, a pretty good album. New fans crossing over from the reality show will no doubt enjoy it, as will some older fans.

The producer has done a great job of capturing the INXS of yore and mixing it with new sounds and directions. J.D. Fortune sounds better than Jon Stevens any day and I look forward to the next album where he should be more involved.

Musically, this is decent effort although it comes off sounding like a debut by an Australian Idol winner at times. Some tracks just don’t work which is why the second album is worth looking forward to.

The final track does the right thing in paying tribute to Michael Hutchence. Featuring Suzie McNeil, the last contestant voted off the INXS island, “Gods Top Ten” is a haunting piece that signals that the band will always have the spectre of Hutchence watching over it.

Score: 6.5 / 10

If its not on, you're goooone!

If it’s not on, you’re gooooone!
Found this article on the Sydney morning Herald website. Clerics: What will they think of next?
'Nudity invalidates marriage'
January 9, 2006 - 10:30AM
An Egyptian cleric's controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars.
According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University's faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), "being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage".
The religious decree sparked a hot debate on the private satellite network Dream's popular religious talk show and on the front page of today's Al-Masri Al-Yom, Egypt's leading independent daily newspaper.
Suad Saleh, who heads the women's department of Al-Azhar's Islamic studies faculty, pleaded for "anything that can bring spouses closer to each other" and rejected the claim that nudity during intercourse could invalidate a union.
During the live televised debate, Islamic scholar Abdel Muti dismissed the fatwa: "Nothing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy."
AFP
The Psynic says:

This is where the condom comes in very handy. Technically one is still “dressed” or “covered”.

On the other hand, why the hell is a cleric talking about sex anyway? Aren’t they supposed to be harping on about the virtues of abstinence, which includes not thinking about sex?

Cd Review - System Of A Down: Mezmerize

System of a Down - Mesmerize

Having bought this album a couple of days after its release, I figured I'd let the hype (debuted at number 1 on the BillBoard chart) and expectation (close to three years since Steal This Album! was "released") die down a little and have a few listens before writing about it.

Earlier today, I caught myself humming one of the tracks whilst working. Hang on ... did I say "humming" one of System of a Down's songs?Anyone who has heard their earlier work, from the self titled debut album through to the breakout Toxicity to the aforementioned Steal this Album!, will attest to the fact that System of a Down are un-hummable. Their songs are like jagged little masterpieces with so many changes in tempo, style and energy that one wonders whether the entire band suffer from A.D.D.

They can go from straight up hard rock to thrash to metal infused folk within the same song before you can say "genre bending". They also combine influences of Eastern European folk, punk, ska and kitsch (Knight Rider theme anyone? Check out I-E-A-I-A-I-O) with their unique brand of metal. You could, maybe, hum a riff ... if you're lucky.

So why am I humming a previously un-hummable band's song? Because its downright catchy. Its melodic and memorable and has a great hook. No, dear reader, System of a Down have not sold out. They have mastered their art.

The song which I have been humming is called B.Y.O.B (Bring Your Own Bombs). If you haven't heard it yet, you might soon, given it's been nominated for a Grammy. The chorus is downright infectious, to the point of being poppy, although I doubt we'll be seeing any Idol hopefuls performing that as part of their auditions.

Don't get me wrong, this album is anything but poppy. It's still a typical System of a Down album in that it defies definition or classification. Take for example the above mentioned track. It starts off sounding like early Metallica and then the chorus kicks in ("Everybody's going to the party, have a good time. Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine") and you could almost dance to it. And then "Blast off. It's party time" and you're suddenly into what sounds like Slayer's Reign in Blood. What the?

All the while vocalist Serj Tankian and guitarist / vocalist Daron Malakian are either trading verses or harmonizing on the chorus. Its an effective one-two sucker punch that works through most of the songs on this album and is a change from previous albums when Tankian carried the bulk of the vocal duties. Malakian sings a whole lot more on this and brings a raspy, squeaky, manic contrast to Tankian's dramatic, sometimes operatic delivery. Their collaboration brings an element of fun to this album and the listener is always second guessing as to which one of the vocalists will go on one of their trademark tangents.

Expect anything from Bohemian Rhapsody-esque harmonizing (Revenga) to intertwining vocal gymnastics (Radio/Video) to yodelling and beatboxing (Violent Pornography). These two have to be heard to be believed.

The tracks themselves stand out as individual vignettes on SOAD's thoughts on the world at large. SOAD have been accused of being overly political mostly due to their Armenian ancestry and involvement with anti-war movements, but they reckon their music is more social commentary rather than anything else. Some tracks make stinging, sarcastic comments on the state of the world today but its all done tongue in cheek. BYOB, Cigaro, Sad Statue and the intro Soldier Side all have political undertones but these are well balanced by the other songs such as Question! which asks "do we know when we fly, do we go when we die" after stating "Ghosts are no different than you."

The best one though, has to be Violent Pornography which has an ultra catchy chorus although singing these words out loud may turn heads and attract undue attention.

"Its a violent pornography,
choking chicks and sodomy
The kinda shit that's on your TV
It's on the TV
F**k Turn off the TV
Can you say "brainwashing"?
Its a non-stop disco"

And it all ends with a light beat box moment which makes ones wonder where do these guys get the ideas for these types of songs? Unbelievably different, yet anyone who has watched even a little of this year's Big Brother, will know what this song is talking about.

To conclude, Mesmerize is a great album in many ways. It successfully continues from where Steal ... left off but makes a quantum leap in terms of attracting new listeners and showcasing the talents of Tankian, Malakian, Odadjian (bass) and Dolmayan (drums). The band has not lost any of its creativity, wit or edge but has gained a sort of maturity that can only come from being comfortable in ones skin. SOAD brought raw power, a schizophrenic energy and a certain aggression in the first two albums followed by hints of what was to come in Steal... Mesmerize brings a new level of craftmanship. It still brings the power, emotion, energy and aggression but also brings an element of perfection.

The second part of Mesmerize, Hypnotize (click on the link - read my review ) will be released towards the end of this year. If these tracks are anything to go by, expect more fireworks. System of a Down are hard to classify as a band. They are not nu-metal because neither Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park or any of their contemporaries could hold a candle to these guys. Ditto heavy metal, thrash, death metal, prog rock or alternative.

If they carry on making albums such as Mesmerize, they'll be in a league of their own.
Score: 9/10

CD Review - System Of A Down: Hypnotize

CD Review – System of a Down: Hypnotize

After six months of waiting, the second part of SOAD’s Mesmerize / Hypnotize double album has finally arrived. Like its predecessor, Hypnotize debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard charts thanks in kind to millions of rabid fans hankering for another shot of SOAD’s unique brand of rock.

So was six months worth the wait? Read on.

Hypnotize is more of the same genre bending, indefinable, Eastern infused rock that Mesmerize brought and it has some great moments. Starting of with the raw and aggressive Attack!, you get the feeling that this going to be heavier and somewhat less radio-friendly than Mesmerize and that point is reinforced by the next track Dreaming.

Attack! starts out sounding like something off Metallica’s St Anger. The speed and ferocity of the opening riff gives way to the somewhat quieter delivery of the verse before all hell breaks loose again on the bridge and chorus. The machine gun staccato of the chorus (We attack, attack, attack…) pushes home the aggression that is reminiscent of SOAD’s earlier albums and jolts the listener into realizing that there’s going to be very few “Everybody’s going to the party, have a real good time” moments on this album. Pop will take a back seat this time.

Serj Tankian opens Dreaming with his trademark soaring vocals and Daron Malakian chimes in during the chorus and bridge and their combination is spot on again. Daron carries the bulk of the vocal duties on this album as he did on Mesmerize and it works well for most of the tracks.

Kill Rock ‘N Roll, U-Fig and Stealing Society maintain the fast and heavy themes but others such as the title track, Tentative and She’s like Heroin still push the boundaries of conventional rock sensibilities. Heroin tries ska while Vicinity of Obscenity has a funk, disco break in between the manic chorus (Banana, banana, banana, terracotta, banana terracotta, terracotta pie). This is, without a shot of a doubt, the craziest song on the album.

The standouts though are the haunting Holy Mountains, which again revisits the Armenian genocide, and Lonely Day, which is the first bona fide ballad on any SOAD album. Holy Mountains is powerful and the emotion is evident. Serj’s vocal control is brilliant and conveys the arc of emotion, which starts out as mournful and sorrow laden, which then gives way to anger. Daron, of course, does the anger part well, vocally as well as with the guitar.

Other reviews have slated Lonely Day for its simplistic lyrics, which I agree is devoid of any substance, yet the craftsmanship of the track itself is a clear demonstration of what these musicians can do. It’s a power ballad that surprisingly sticks to convention. This is an indication of what SOAD would sound like if they played a “normal” song. No tempo changes, shifts in genre or experimentation. It is refreshing and unique (which in itself are unusual words to describe “normal”).

So, the final verdict? System of a Down have done it again ... hang on, this was recorded at the same time as Mesmerize which negates my “again” comment. Was waiting six months worth it? A resounding “yes” because this is a different animal to Mesmerize. Sony BMG could have released them together but the impact would have been dulled. The Psynic in me realizes that the impact of sales would have been dulled as well which is the reason for the six-month wait but whipping fans into frenzy is a marketing ploy and in this case, the ploy has worked. Number 1 on debut is testament to this but is also a tribute to SOAD’s unique brand of rock.

With a Grammy nomination (Hard Rock) for B.Y.O.B already in the bag for 2006, the future looks good for System of Down. Even if they ditched their genre bending ways and came out with something conventional, fans would buy it because “normal” is still something you have never heard when System of a Down are in the mix.

Score: 9/10

Review - Motley Crue Live

Review – Mötley Crüe : Red, White and Crüe Tour
Venue: Sydney Superdome
Date: December 3, 2005
Supporting Acts : Casanovas (Australia), Mötorhead (UK)

It was 1989 and Dr Feelgood had just been released. I heard the title track on Rick Dee’s Weekly Top 40 and was hooked. The chugging guitars, the whiney vocals, the manic drumming and a crazy guitar solo. For a 15-year old just discovering hard rock / heavy metal, it was like manna sent from the rock gods.

Their vinyl LP was one of my first heavy metal purchases and still remains a prized possession. Given that history, I was more than stoked to secure tickets in May this year, for their re-union tour.

The power of p2p allowed me to catch up their back catalogue so I was primed for the event. The Casanovas kicked things off at around 7pm. I was in a queue to buy beer (what else would you drink at a rock concert?) when they started and from the sound of things I decided to forgo the beer and check them out. I’m glad I skipped that beer.

The Casanovas
Sounding like a musical lovechild between Kiss, ACDC, Bon Jovi and the headlining act, these local boys rocked the just-starting-to-fill house. This Melbourne based trio have a reputation in Australia for being under-achievers because lesser bands such as The Vines and Jet made the big time before they did, but going from the tight 30 minutes they played…correction…rocked, their time will come. Superb energy and a well-balanced blend of riffage and solos, The Casanovas will definitely be on my Christmas shopping list.

This was my first time experiencing The Casanovas live. To say I was impressed would be an understatement. 4 out of 5 and looking forward to more.

Blast from the Past


Well, if The Casanovas looked like stealing the show, the following band (more an institution than a band I reckon), pretty much did. Lemmy, Phil and Mickkey are credited for inventing speed metal. Combining punk and uncompromising heavy metal, these seasoned musicians have been a mainstay of the rock scene for more than 30 years.

Twice nominated for Grammy’s, Mötorhead are better known to younger metal heads as one of the major influences of Metallica. Once their set started, you immediately knew why.

Vocalist Lemmy growled his way through almost an hour of Mötorhead’s greatest hits including Ace of Spades and even a new track off their latest album, Inferno. Throughout the performance, the driving guitars and thumping drums made it downright hard to breath.

Lemmy and lead guitarist Philip Campbell combined perfectly for crunching guitar assaults that had punters moshing on the terraces. Mickkey Dee was a blur of hair, drumsticks and thundering sound. His solo midway through the set was a spectacle to behold. This was old school metal in way I had never experienced.

Even the way the set ended was legendary. Lemmy hit an open E chord on his Rickenbauer, casually strolled over to the huge amp behind him, turned the reverb way up, placed the guitar facing the speaker and in a thunder of feedback bowed with the rest of the band and walked off as the lights dimmed. Only two words can describe that performance… f**king awesome!

5 out of 5.

The Main Event

Still buzzing from the Mötorhead set, the crowd started a chant of Crüe! Crüe! Crüe! as the roadies furiously cleared the stage. The ripples of excitement in the audience were matched by ripples in the large pink and white striped big top-style tent covering half the stage. The fogs machines went into overdrive, no doubt to conceal the surprises that were reputedly part of the show dubbed the “Carnival of Sins”.

The lights dimmed to thunderous applause and the big screens either side of the stage lit up. It was a preview for Disaster The Movie wherein Mötley Crüe are immortalized in clay. Not what many expected, but it was mildly amusing.
(www.disasterthemovie.com)

Then out strolled an evil looking midget clown amid heavy guitars. After asking the crowd “are you ready” a couple of times, fireballs and pyrotechnics started up within the big top which still had not been opened. When it did, we were headlong into “Shout at the Devil”.

The years haven’t been good to Vince Neil and he didn’t look anything like the familiar lithe, peroxide blond, lounge lizard on the Dr Feelgood album sleeve. At least his voice was still good. Or so I thought. Whether it was his mic or the way the sound was set up but his vocals were very hard to pick out amid the heavy guitars and a painted Tommy Lee’s frantic drum thumping, as the show went on.

Nikki Sixx, was also painted up and his bass lines seemed distorted and messy. Mick Mars, my favourite band member, was in a black overcoat and top hat. His trademark slouch was further accentuated by what looked like six-inch platform boots. But for a guy who has had a hip replacement and suffers from a degenerative bone disease, he looked in pretty good nick.

The performance itself was good in patches. No complaints with the music but the vocals were lost and this was further exacerbated by Neil singing alternating verses and relying on audience interaction. It’s one thing to get the audience involved but it seems like a farce when every song is half sung.

The next 45 minutes were dedicated to their “old shit” with gems such as “Too Fast For Love”, “Looks that Kill” and “10 Seconds to Love” among more fireworks, pyros and scantily clad acrobats who kept the moshers entertained. The sleazy, glam metal machine that is Mötley Crüe were just starting to gain momentum when, strangely, they called a 10 minute interval and left. The big screens came on again to show more of the movie clip that started the show but that ended after two minutes.

After the interval, Vince and Tommy came back onstage on a couple of Harley Davidsons. After revving it up, they went headlong into “Girls! Girls! Girls!” which had everyone up and jumping. After a couple more songs from their back catalogue, they slowed things down with a newer song. “Glitter” was played in a medley with “Without You” and then the lighters came out for “Home Sweet Home” which the audience sang the first time around.

“Don’t Go Away Mad” would have been a highlight if the sound wasn’t so distorted and vocals completely drowned out. Just as things were gaining momentum once more, another break, this time in the form of Nikki Sixx introducing the band and chasing a midget offstage (!).

Then Tommy took over the mic and this is where things really started going downhill. After taking a cheap shot at Bon Jovi, he threw his bottle of Jagermeister to some lucky punter in the front row. Heard someone yell, “all the best with the Hep buddy!” as the lucky fan chugged whatever was in the bottle.

Tommy took over the hand held camera Nikki had used to introduce the band. Calling it his “titty cam”, he invited female members of the audience to flash him for the benefit of the cam and the big screens. A couple of them did, which I guess is fun and games, but when Tommy jumped into the front row to force a young lady to do it, was just plain tasteless.

Now this entire episode took up close to 20 minutes which could have been better spent on working out the sound problems, but when they did get back to the music, Dr Feelgood sounded like it was being played through a pair of busted up PC speakers. Only the driving rhythm was recognizable. That beautiful guitar solo was lost in parts as were the lyrics.

After that, even Mick’s guitar solo, which blended into “Kickstart My Heart”, failed to lift my mood. “Sick Love Song”, “Same Ol’ Situation” and a huge, effects laden encore rounded out the night and the show was over.

Personally, the night ended on a bittersweet note. I guess I expected Mötley Crüe to be more mature and professional a la Metallica. But I guess they are re-living their heyday when the spectacle was more important than the performance. On that front, Mötley Crüe delivered. It was a sleazy, corrupt-your-mind sort of performance and if the sound problems weren’t so bad, this show could have been actually good.

Sadly for me, it was more like a bunch of old farts reliving their heyday and in the process turning into an embarrassing cover band of themselves.

3 out of 5. (Mick Mars gets a 4 for being the coolest cat in the show).

The Psynic Dec 05

Broggers bites the dust

Note: For the benefit of non-aussie readers, John Brogden is (was) the leader of opposition in the NSW State Government.

Well, it had to happen. When a person runs his mouth as much as John "Broggers" Brogden does, you know something idiotic will come out of it sooner or later. This guys idea of political debate is to disagree with everything the state government says, even if disagreeing means being completely wrong.

It came to a head today and he resigned. Why? Was it because he could not stand the State government's policies and failure to stick to its election promises? No. Was it because he was suffering from a physical ailment, a la Mark Latham and more recently deputy PM Anderson? He wishes.

Broggers resigned because his stupidity caught up with him. The (former) Leader of Opposition got tanked at a function, pinched the bottom of a journalist, propositioned another and made a racial slur against the wife of former NSW premier Bob Carr. Then, ironically, he denied it all blaming the ruling Labour party of a "grubby" personal attack. This from the master of grubby personal attacks.

Couple of weeks later, this:

"Clearly, in retrospect, I should have - from the outset when the questions were put directly to me - been honest and indicated that my behaviour was completely unacceptable, and I apologise," he said on a radio broadcast (Southern Cross
Broadcasting)

So, when lying didn't work, Broggers admitted to calling Helena Carr a "mail order bride" and misbehaving with the two journos. (Helena Carr is of Malaysian ancestry, the journos are female). He didn't blame the alcohol, which is a good thing. He probably is racist, sexist and up himself when sober. If there is any doubt, then factor in the following: the Liberals are confident of winning the next state election on the back of the current Labour government's inability to fix public utilities especially the rail network. In two years, Broggers would have been the Premier.

Lesson learnt from this: never pinch a journalist's bottom.

For more on this story go here

NB: A few days after resigning, Brogden tried to commit suicide. The media was blamed for taking things too far and there was a surge in sympathy for Broggers. In my humble opinion, the media did go over the top. So did Broggers. The game was played and some PR executive is having the last laugh.

Cosmetic procedure could change English language

Saw an interesting infomercial the other night. It’s the latest fad in cosmetic …er beautification. Anal bleaching.

According to the infomercial, this non-evasive procedure lightens the skin around the anus, giving it a clean and hygienic look. Apparently it started out as a must have for actors in the porn industry but made the jump to everyday people because of the ‘’aesthetic’’ appeal. Too many people with too much time on their hands I say.

You must be wondering about the title then. Well, I realized that this procedure will have a profound effect on the English language if it becomes commonplace. Here are a few examples:

• The word ‘’asshole’’ will no longer be a derogatory term. Colloquially, ‘’asshole’’ can have a range of meaning, from being disgusting to being full of crap. Either way, there is an innuendo of faecal matter, of being dirty. In the future, if the recipient of your abuse has been bleached or A-B’d, they’ll probably take being called an asshole as a compliment!
• ‘’Shove it where the sun don’t shine’’ meaning its dark down there. After a dose of A-B, these words will have no meaning.
• “The sun doesn’t shine out of your ass”. With enough A-B, it probably will.
• Because of the above ‘’mooning’’ will become passé. “Sunning” someone will become the new rage.

Anyone got any other suggestions?

Racism rears its ugly head

Anyone remember Pauline Hanson? Yes, the Pauline Hanson who almost won Dancing with the Stars. Oh and she also was a politician some years back. She wanted fewer immigrants coming into Australia because “they” were supposedly eroding Australian culture etc. Just Google her, you’ll get the picture.

Well, in the trend of what’s-old-is-new-again, here’s a story that has been doing the rounds with a similar theme. Only this time, I get to comment.

An associate professor in law at a reputable Sydney university wrote a letter to the editor of the Parramatta Sun (a local rag), saying that a high number of black immigrants would invariably lead to increased crime in Parramatta.

His letter was a reaction to the front-page news article a week earlier, where a Sudanese family had gained Australian citizenship.

Ipso facto?

Prof. Genius didn’t back his claim with any hard evidence, studies or surveys. When questioned, he referred to data on black-on-white crime. This data was collected in the USA and none of the “hard” current affairs programs on TV have verified this data to date. But they have done surveys in regards to whether the general public agrees / disagrees with his sentiments. And the result?

80 percent of those who called in agreed that black immigrants were the cause of increased crime. Take a bow Prof. Andrew Fraser. Just like the flared pants, platform boots, afros and fluorescent coloured shirts, you have single-handedly revived Hansonism (Hanson the politician / dancer not the teenybopper pop group). At least Pauline Hanson had an agenda to get into Parliament unlike Mr. Fraser who is currently unable to teach his law classes because the university has shut him down. Tsk! tsk! should have thought of the consequences before writing that letter and signing it with your credentials, which included the name of the university. Moron!

Roll up! Roll up!

So, while he fights to teach his classes, the university is in damage control, offering a scholarship to Sudanese students and assuring its overseas and non-white student populace (that bring in a fair amount of revenue) that they don’t have a Nazi in their faculty.

Meanwhile, the media have done their part as usual. Sensationalized the entire issue by making the contents of the letter front-page news (well done Parramatta Sun, a free newspaper with all the hallmarks of gutter journalism), while the ‘’reputable’’ current affairs programs (A Current Affair, Today Tonight) took to the streets and ran the emotional angle. Not a fact in sight. Anyone remember the 5 Ws and H (who, what, where, when, why and how)?

This just in, the African Communities Council is considering legal action against Prof. Fraser for breaking racial vilification laws. ACC president, Lamaz Bah reckons Prof. Fraser ''has incited hate.''

''I can’t understand how this man can vilify people and then expect to hide behind academia,’’ he said in the Parramatta Sun.

Psynical thoughts

Having lived in Australia and western Sydney for almost five years, I can say that racism exists here, just like it exists everywhere else around the world. Its not a big deal until it is made a big deal. Like with Prof. Fraser’s letter, which, if left on the Letters to the Editor section on page 6, would have been a racist rant and nothing more.

I’m not denying the fact that a problem exists, but being non-white has taught me that this problem will always exist. Hell, in the country I was born in, we had people of the same damn colour being racist to each other, so go figure!

But the holier than thou attitudes of those who support Prof Fraser has irked me somewhat. Here’s an example:

Well done Professor Fraser.
You have the spirit that is needed in this country. But, alas, you are outnumbered by the over-populous migrants who unfortunately now call this once-great country home.
They bring with them trouble and have intention of blending in to our way of life.
Australia has to face the facts: there are some people that just cannot fit or live in a Western country.
Name withheld, Parramatta
(Your Say, Parramatta Sun, August 10, 2005)

Name withheld might want to consider the following question:
Who were the very first migrants to settle in Australia en masse? Something about a penal colony, oh that’s right, they were from Great Britain.
You are a migrant as much as I am then, no?
Prof. Fraser’s claim that Australia’s rising ruling class of Asians ( he reckons because they do so well in the Higher School Certificates) is also an exercise in irony. What Asian ruling class? Last time I looked, Mr. Sheen was still running the country. How many Asians are there in Parliament? The only time you hear about Asians is when a radio talk-show host complains about his / her bank customer service query being answered in India or Malaysia.

Maybe, if the big corporations stop outsourcing work to Asia and invest in the knowledge base here in Australia, Australian graduates of all ethnicities would be able to bring prosperity to the country rather than opting for the first opportunity off the island.
 
Enough ranting. The bottom line is that there is a need for people to be colour- blind. If empathy and tolerance is too hard, try some courtesy. At the end of the day, it’s about giving a fair go. Not because its about being Australian, but because its about being human.

Batman Begins – Movie Review (Slightly Spoiler free)

With so many comic based movies being made or re-hashed, one could be excused for thinking that this one is another one of those formulaic, money grabbing, special effects laden, script-less piece of mindless junk. Oh, forgot about the romantic angle thrown in for the important human relationship angle. Superheroes are human too, y’know.

Well, this one isn’t all that.

From the opening scenes, you know that this will explore the psychology of the protagonist, who we all know so well. Or do we? From the beginning, Batman has been an anomaly to the superhero genre. He doesn’t have any super powers and neither is he an alien or mutated in any way. He does have all sorts of gadgets and one hell of an awesome car. So what drives him? Is it the need for justice? Maybe revenge? Either way our hero is one complicated cat … or to paraphrase a line from the movie, anyone wearing a bat suit must have some serious issues.

And it is these issues that bring this movie to life. The previous Batman movies have only touched on the issues that drive the caped crusader, using the loss of his parents as the crux of his motivation. Batman Begins, however, provides an in-depth look into all the surrounding issues that drive a billionaire playboy into donning a bat suit and getting down and dirty with the criminal elements. And it works. This is the most rounded characterization of Batman yet.

Character

From the onset, the themes of fear and its consequences are enacted, leading to the death of the parents of a young Bruce Wayne. Christian Bale is believable as the tortured and vengeful young heir who doesn’t have a care for his fortune. Micheal Caine is excellent as Alfred, the faithful butler. He has some great lines in this movie and his words of advice, delivered in a muted cockney accent, are absolute pearlers (Yoda, eat your heart out.)

Katie Holmes plays Rachel Dawes, a childhood friend of Bruce and the assistant District Attorney in Gotham City. The cynic in me was waiting for the same uncomfortable “I-have-feelings-for-you-but can’t-admit-it-because-I’m-a-superhero-but-a-wuss-in-real-life” crap ala Spiderman 2 but thankfully this didn’t happen. Instead, her character portrayed the judicious, incorruptible, law abiding and socially conscious ideal that is usually the first casualty in a society run by fear and intimidation. Even when she finds out that Batman and Bruce Wayne are one and the same, she doesn’t fall head over heels (contrary to what the movie posters might be depicting) but instead makes an allusion to how she always loved the real Bruce Wayne, not the billionaire playboy or the caped crusader.

The supporting cast is excellent and all play a part in shaping the Batman persona. Flashbacks show Thomas Wayne, Bruce’s father, as a kind, compassionate doctor who has a deep sense of duty to the community, a true philanthropist. It’s these traits that keep Bruce from becoming a murderous vigilante which attracts the ire of Raz Ul Gul played first by Ken Watanabe and then by Liam Neeson, whose tutelage turns Bruce Wayne into a multi-discipline (Jujitsu, Ninjitsu etc) martial arts expert. The whole master vs apprentice touch was subtly done.

Neeson was entirely believable as the tough as nails, egomaniacal Ducard. He has a knack for playing the flawed mentor type. Think Qui Gon Jin from Star Wars Episode 1, but with about a years worth of nandrolone coursing through his veins. The whole League of Shadows conspiracy also fit into the story well, giving the whole notion of crime a global feel as opposed to just with Gotham City.

Storyline

The way director Christopher Nolan (Memento, Insomnia), unfolds the tale is surprising given how well the story is already known. Showing a bearded and ragged Bruce Wayne in some sort of an Asian prison camp throws you. Wayne is a billionaire, so what’s he doing in prison? All these questions are answered over the course of the movie. Nolan’s attention to detail is meticulous and gives the whole movie a sense of being based in reality rather than fantasy.

The story itself traces the young Bruce Wayne’s journey through fear, despair, horror, guilt and anger. After seeing his parents murderer freed, frustration leads him to confront the underworld kingpin Carmine Falcone (played by Tom Wilkinson), who boasts of owing half the city through corruption. After being intimidated and warned, Bruce decides that the only way to beat ‘em is to join ‘em. So to understand the criminal mind, he becomes a criminal. Which explains why he’s in prison. Cool huh?

The story then follows through to his training by Ducard and his return to Gotham City. The city is stunningly large and reflects the depression era in which the Batman comics were born (circa 1939). Its when Bruce returns to Gotham and decides to clean up the city, that the story really starts moving. It explains how the Batcave came about, the acquisition of the bat suit, the making of the bat-arangs and of course, the modding (if you will) of the Batmobile (can i get a "fully sick").

We are also introduced to Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) the head techie at Wayne Enterprises' Applied Sciences division. Look out for the tongue-in-cheek dialogue exchanges between Bruce and Fox. We also get to meet Jim Gordon (a very believable Gary Oldman), the only honest cop in Gotham.

Nolan does a good job in keeping the story moving and the action scenes are punchy and not at all forced (as in all the previous Batman movies). There aren’t any campy or over-the-top moments or drawn out emotional interludes. Personally, the script, acting and directing of this movie was so good that my disappointment with Star Wars Ep. 3 was forgotten. This is how movies should be made.

Score: 4.5 out of 5